if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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