I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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