I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
