just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
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