she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
