She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
