HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
