i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
