somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
