Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
