Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
