Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
