i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
