She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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