it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
