My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
