if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
