we're chasing vodka with high fives
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
