i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
