I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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