I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
