Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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