Fine. I'll sleep in my office
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
