the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
And the cops told us we were all naked.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
