Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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