I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
