i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
