i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
