Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
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