just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
