Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
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