we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
