I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Randomize
