does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
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