his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
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