JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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