My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
