I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
My vagina just recognized that song.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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