.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
The feeling are messing with the penis
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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