Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
