Can i not drive my cunt home
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
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