hell yes lets make some ravioli
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Randomize
