p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
