Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
