I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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