I am in a vortex of obligation.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I think your dad took our porno
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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