yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
