Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
