if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
