I have demons in me.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
