At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Randomize
