I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
