never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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