the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
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